Full game metadata
| Field | Value |
|---|---|
| Steam app type | game |
| Steam App ID | 3811890 |
| Live current players | 0 |
| SteamPulse tracked peak | 3 |
| Live count (today's peak floor) | 0 |
| Price | $4.99 |
| Free to play | No |
| Discount | 0% |
| Original price USD | $4.99 |
| Current price USD | $4.99 |
| Release date | Dec 16, 2025 |
| Developer | Hmph. Studios |
| Publisher | Hmph. Studios |
| Owners estimated | Not available |
| SteamSpy owner estimate minimum | Not available |
| SteamSpy owner estimate maximum | Not available |
| Review type | Positive |
| Positive review percent | 94% |
| Positive reviews | 15 |
| Negative reviews | 1 |
| Total reviews | 16 |
| Steam recommendations | Not available |
| Achievements | 16 |
| Average playtime forever | Not available |
| Windows support | Yes |
| macOS support | No |
| Linux support | No |
| Parent game | Not available |
| Store URL | https://store.steampowered.com/app/3811890/ |
Short description
Golfing, but up a bizarre mountain where every 'I got it!' is a lie. A chaotic co-op physics platformer where falling is half the fun... probably.
About this game
Golfing, but up a bizarre mountain where every 'I got it!' is a lie. Welcome to This Is Why We Don't Play Golf - the chaotic co-op physics platformer where falling is half the fun... probably. You're hauling a golf ball up a mountain, one swing at a time, and gravity has a personal vendetta against you. Okay it's simple, you hit your golf ball, or your friend, from platform to hazard to wall to floor to ceiling... every surface is a perfectly calculated opportunity. Play alone and question life choices; play with a friend and question theirs too. Climb up (hopefully more than down) multiple unique regions with unique hazards Bring a friend or go alone, but the mountain has room for 2 players to suffer together Play with a chaos-physics golf ball with a cruel sense of humor Break the game before it breaks you; the line between bug, mechanic, or creative solution is your call Hike to the top in 2-4 hours (if you're good) or 8+ hours (if you brought THAT friend) Warning: Side effects include creative vocabulary expansion.
Supported languages
English * , German, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese - Brazil, Russian, Simplified Chinese, Spanish - Latin America * languages with full audio support